When Your Heart Is Jumping Out Of Your Chest

The day before yesterday I had my first gig in front of more than five people. I sang at the fireplace on medieval markets for some of my medieval friends before and some of my closest friends heard me singing, but I never was brave enough to sing in front of a lot of people, mostly because I am just too shy and I am not confident enough to be calm and not shaking like an earthquake. 

But a few weeks ago a good friend of mine, who has a big talent on the piano, asked me if I would sing at a Christmas party of a charity club. So, I agreed, because I had made up my mind to be more courageous and to take on challenges. The last three weeks we checked on songs, rehearsed and had a lot of fun making music together. The time went by so fast and before I recognized I stood there in front of more than fifty people that night. I can't say I wasn't nervous at all- I was so very nervous I felt my voice shaking singing the first song. But when I saw that the guests were enjoying our music I relaxed and became more confident. I started to enjoy the play and when we played our own song I gave all my emotions into this moment. 

The mother of my piano friend, who organised the event and supported us at the rehearsals came to me after the play, with tears in her eyes and told me she was so very touched by my voice and especially by our own song. I still can't find the right words to describe what I feel. To touch someone so deeply by singing a story of yourself is something so special, it can't be put into words. I was so overwhelmed by all the kindness that approached me. A lot of the members came to me to tell me how much they enjoyed the evening and me singing. 

I still can't believe all this happened. I am still in my small golden cage, not believing in myself and my voice. And that's why I am writing about it here. I want to share this experience with you. For a long time, I was the kind of girl who was afraid of new things, being in front of a lot of people, with all attention on my person. I wasn't confident at all and this is slowly changing now. Fortunately, there have been a few people who showed me how to love yourself and be proud with the things you do and the things you CAN, and believing in your own skills. I still have to learn a lot and a long way to go, but I am on this journey and that's all that matters. 

Believe in yourself, do what you love and don't let anybody keeping you back

Especially not yourself!

Lots of love,