“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”
Wanderlust. It's my disease. I have been diagnosed with it a long time ago. I can't tell the first symptoms of this illness anymore. I just know it has spread through my heart and mind like a twister through the deserted lands. Since then it hauntes me every single day. There is no moment of rest anymore, because with every breath I feel the prickling of the curse running through my veins.
I call wanderlust a disease 'cause it's a blessing and curse at the same time. Since I found my love for travelling and exploring new places, this sadness came with it. The sadness which is accompanying me when I am at home and dream of foreign countries, adventures in the woods and mountains and when I realize that I am not able to follow this craving. I am looking through pictures of places I have been or places I want to visit and it makes me mournful and excited at the same time.
There is so much to see, so many adventures to take, so many to explore, so many people to meet, so much waiting for me! I can't wait to render uncertain!
Most of the people in my surrounding never understood when I talked about going away from my hometown, when I told them about my plans to visit Canada on my own two years ago or when I dream of travelling over the world. First they laughed about it, then they have been worried, at the end they were impressed. I guess the quote of my favorite book of all times "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer and actually the reason I have been infected with wanderlust sums it up perfectley. Most of the people stuck in their lifes, comftable and familiar; and breaking out of this routine and the familiar four wall seems insane and weary of life. I guess in some ways I can understand this feeling of fear of the uncertain, but the world is much too colorful to see only black and white.
“Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
Most of the times my desire to leave the place I've been became the strongest when something displeasant happened.
I often had the longing to just pack a backpack and take the next train to any destination. I felt so captured in this society and my own life that I could understand Christopher McCandless so well. I feel the most comftable and free in the wild nature, when I am in the woods on my own, me and my mind. I guess for me it's the best way to deal with things, to deal with myself and my thoughts and feelings. On the other hand I adore to sit on the train, looking out of the window, seeing the changing landscape and observing the cities I am passing. I love to visit new villages, getting to know new cultures and learning more and more about myself by challenging myself with new situations and experiences.
I often wonder if this disease will ever find its cure; if there exists a cure at all.
I guess there will be a day when I've seen a lot of the places I wanted to visit, when I found a man I love and when I am finally ready to put down roots, but until then... there are many steps to go.
I will travel to Romania the day after tomorrow and I am very excited and nervous about it, cause those feelings belong to wanderlust and the adventure of exploring the uncertain. I am so looking forward to all the experiences I will make, although I will stay there for only four days.
Take every adventure which will be offered, you never know what's waiting for you out there!
“I now walk into the wild.”