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I enjoy my solitude

Thursday, March 3, 2016


"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where non intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but nature more"
- George Gordon Byron

"You have to go out more often, otherwise you will never meet any new friends!" I still remember how my aunt preached those words almost every time we saw each other every few months. I should go out, be social, a little party never killed nobody. Well, it would not kill me but it would make me feel very uncomftable. I would be the one standing in the back of the room, watching the others dancing, drinking, and laughing and thinking about the fastest way out of that hell.
But my aunt never understood my character- and I am not saying 'problem' on purpose, although I thought it would be a sickness for a very long time, that something would be wrong with me.
I don't know the exact reason anymore, but I guess I read an article on the Internet which dealt with the comparison of intro- and extroversion. I can still remember the relief and happiness I felt after reading those words. I finally found an explanation for my behaviour and feelings and it wasn't a disfunction at all.

For me it seems like not many people know about those things. When I tell them that I am an introvert, they are replying that I just should not be shy. Well, it is very frustrating to explain the difference between introversion and shyness every single time again, but I think it is important to spread the knowledge of those two kinds of characters.
When I informed myself about this topic, I got to know that there are more extroverts than introverts in the society and that is the reason why most introverts are misunderstood, because they are the minor group. I am always relieved and happy to meet people who are like me and who understand the problem as an introvert. Because I am not shy in generel- well, I need my time to get warm with some kind of people, but I am a very open person and love to meet new personalities. The point which differs between intro-and extroverts is their way of charging and using their inner energy.
Extroverts prefer to be around people, socialize, and charge their energy while they are with others. This charged energy they need for being alone, the energy level sinks in their solitude. For introverts that is the situation they enjoy. Being on their own, spending time with doing whatever, but just being with themself. In their solitude they charge their energy level again, which they need when they are socializing and being around people. The actual problem of being an introvert is that most of the people do not understand your desire to be alone, doing things on your own without any company. And because of majority of extroverts it is hard to find the acceptance and sympathy for your way of living. It is hard to 'proof' those kind of things cause it is something about your mind and personality, nothing you can just proof with an examination like a disease. It is just like a passion or a taste, they differ but you can only accept them.

In my case I learned to live with my personality. I met a few people who are introverts too and it helps to know that I am not alone at all. I enjoy my time around people I like and I started to explain at the very beginning that I sometimes just need a short timeout and will spend some time on my own - cause I also made the experience that people thought I am unwell or sad and have been worried. I have the feeling that even then some people just do not understand but they accept it and that is  all I want.
It is quite rare but there exist some people in my life which have a different effect on me than others. First of all my family, I think that is quite normal, because I spent my whole life with them. But lately I had this experience with a very special person in my life and that really gave me some kind of new belief and happiness. The boyfriends I had before gave me a feeling of comfort but after some time I still had the feeling of needing some time for myself again. It is this feeling of a twister in your head. When you are unable to think straight and every new impression is hurting your mind. I accepted the fact  until I met my present boyfriend. I did not noticed until we have spent ten days in a row together, that I never have the desire to get some time on my own. I can be with him twenty-four hours a day and my energy level is still the same. It seems like he is giving me the energy back which I am usually losing when I am with someone- and that is what I call a treasure. I never felt something like this before and I am aware that I have to hold onto that.

I can only tell every introvert out there, not to worry if you do not fit into others expectations. Enjoy your time on your own and do not feel forced to be someone you are not. I guess it is a precious skill to be able to enjoy your own company, cause in the end we are our own best friend.


“To be left alone is the most precious thing one can ask of the modern world.” 
-Anthony Burgess


6 comments:

  1. Ach Michelle, wie sehr mich deine Worte an dieser Stelle berühren.

    “My idea of good company...is the company of clever, well-informed people,
    who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.'
    'You are mistaken,' said he gently, 'that is not good company,
    that is the best.”
    ― Jane Austen, Persuasion

    Tja, das mag auf viele zutreffen, aber eben nicht auf a l l e und nicht zu jeder Zeit. Noch heute höre ich die gut gemeinten Worte meiner Familie, mich darin motivierend doch mehr unter Menschen zu sein. Noch immer fühle ich mich da sehr missverstanden, denn genau genommen, habe ich auf der Arbeit mehr als ausreichend Kontakt zu Menschen, oder? *smirk* Aber mal im Ernst, ich finde es so viel angenehmer mit introvertierten Menschen, die sich auch mal alleine zu beschäftigen wissen...die Ruhe aushalten können / gar benötigen, als mit jener Sorte, die dauerbeschallt werden möchte.

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    Replies
    1. Du sprichst mir aus der Seele! Schön, dass wir uns haben :*

      Liebe.
      Michelle

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  2. Oh, Michelle, I can feel very deep your words. I often feel so misunderstood by people... Its so nice to find people around the globe that feels similar to one. Also, I feel the same way with my boyfriend, I could be with him all the time! Such a beautiful feeling, I'm happy you've found it. <3

    I send you a big hug!

    Sol.

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    1. It's so very lovely to know that there are a lot of wonderful souls out there who feel the same! I am happy you found also a soul for you! <3

      Love,
      Michelle

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  3. Its hard when society doesnt understand your feelings and your personality and I think we shouldnt hide anymore but being just ourself, although not everybody will accept you how you are! <3

    Love.
    Michelle

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  4. I will take very good care of him!! He is a truely treasure! <3
    And I dont care about the understanding of people any longer... I appreciate my few friends that know how I am and accept me like that and I am happy with those... :)

    Love to you, my dear!

    ReplyDelete

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